Radiation and Computers One Person's Experience by larry gensch, ESQ Copyright (c) 1984 All rights reserved The subject of radiation and Micros has been around for quite a while now. I have been using micros for a few years really ignorant of the issues involved. Take "CRT Fatigue", for instance. I have sometimes gotten this dread malady, usually after spending 24 hours at my machine debugging a really involved program. It tends to affect me. My eyes now have little white pupils. At random times, I see computer responses seem to hang in mid-air: "INVALID SELECTION, TURKEY..." "GET IT RIGHT, YOU MORON!" "STOP WASTING MY TIME." These messages seem to hover in front of me, etched in phosphorescent green and white. At first, I thought it was just after-images. But my wife started commenting about them. She sees them also. "How'd you do that?" she asked me as a message "TRSDOS Ready" with a row of periods levitated over the hood of our car as we were driving on Route 93. It got so I could predict the images to appear. After a few weeks, I could actually control the phenomonon. At parties, a hi-res portrait of an un-clad "Mona" would always stir up a conversation. We would talk about computers and "What sort of computer should I buy?" while bar graphs and pie charts would back up my ideas. At banks, the tellers would show unbelief as a VisiCalc dispaly of my checkbook would appear in thin air. After a month, the images started getting on my nerves. I abandoned my CRT, using a teletype to communicate with my computer. After a few uneventful weeks at 110 baud, my wife noticed I was getting a bit 'edgy'. Then I discovered "Moe". "Moe" is an acronym for "Model One Hundred" which is a portable computer. It is about the size of a loose leaf binder and has a real keyboard and a huge LCD display. That LCD display amazed me... no CRT! It wasn't as fast as a CRT but a hell of a lot faster than my teletype. Plus, it didn't clatter like a railroad train when it was displaying. I bought my Model 100 and entered the world of portable computing. I was hooked. I could use it anywhere... in my car... in a hotel room... in the air... Well, maybe not in the air. I used it on a flight to New York. I turned on the machine and started putting the finishing touches on the documentation file for a program I had just written. I made quite a few errors because the plane was hitting some turbulence. After about five minutes, I noticed a pattern to this turbulence. If I pressed the left arrow key, the plane would veer to the left. If I pressed the right rrow key, the plane would veer to the right. I decided to end my editing and I pressed the CONTROL and down arrow keys to get to the bottom of my document. The plane took a serious nose dive. I hurriedly shut off the computer, and a stewardess came back and grabbed some kid's Pac Man game and brought it to the cockpit. Since then, I have had some other problems with the radiation from this machine. Although my television set changes stations randomly when the computer is in the same room, I was not overly concerned. My greatest problem, however, stemmed from the fact that the machine is so portable. It is not uncommon for me to use the machine on my lap. My wife noticed the problem when I walked into the bedroom one night. The room was dark, and my wife was in bed. As I walked near the bed, my wife gave a start. "Where's the light coming from?" she asked. I looked around and saw no illumination. She traced the source of the light and shrieked, pointing at my abdomen. "You... you're GLOWING!" I followed her finger, and sure enough, the was a greenish glow inside my pajamas. Apparently, the Model 100, used as a lap computer could affect a sensitive organ... This started a few months ago. The glowing, while it was a horrible shock, has become second nature to me. I use it to find my way into the bathroom in the darkened house at night. But the problem soon spread. I noticed it one day as the vacuum cleaner turned itself on as I walked past. It wouldn't shut off. Now dogs whimper and run away from me with their tails between their legs. Going through the metal detector at the airport was an experience I will NEVER go through again in my life. My car starts up in the morning as I unlock the door. It hasn't run out of gas for three thousand miles now. In fact, the traffic lights are always green when I approach an intersection. Railroad crossings are a nuisance, since the gates are always down when I get near them. The first time reminded me of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I now avoid department stores that have those special "Shoplifter Spotters". I tend to set the off with fifty feet. I have been banned from nearly all Video Arcades in my area. On a recent trip to Atlantic City, I won over $1000 in the nickle slot machine without even depositing money! This malady has its problems, though. My nephew's electric train burned out when I got near it. It derailed going about 90 miles an hour. My hair is just growing back now after trying to use my hair dryer. I haven't gotten up the nerve to use my electric razor. I now get Showtime, Home Box Office, and the Playboy Channel on my glasses. Reception is pretty snowy, but I will not try rabbit ears! I tried going to my doctor about this problem. I spent two hours and the contents of my lunch going up and down the elevator endlessly until a five man team of janitors somehow managed to get the doors open and the elevator spew me out. At the hospital, I fogged up all the X-ray negatives. The hospital staff had to find a regular bed for my room because the bed which had a remote control to raise and lower the top and bottom kept on going up and down... The doctor kept me away from the Intensive Care Unit, since I might interract with the pacemakers and Iron Lungs. After a week of undergoing all kinds of experiments and tests, I decided to leave the hospital. My wife and I drove up to the picturesque mountains and we now rent an cabin there. Since there is no electricity, I don't affect anything, and the wild animals steer far away from us. I make very sure that I stay indoors during electrical storms. The problem seems to have abated recently, judging by my glow at night, but we are not taking any chances. We love it where we are, and will probably stay up here a long time. You may say that we owe it all to personal computing!